WILD THING

WILD THING
I go through phases with men. Football players. Cowboys. Cowboy-football players. But once there was this wild man….
His name was T-Paul Broussard. For those of you who don’t know, in my neck of the woods the practice of putting a T in front of names is fairly standard. It’s a Cajun mama’s way of saying Little Tommy or Little Sam. Hence, I was dating Little Paul, but Little Paul wasn’t so little – if you know what I mean. Sorta like Beau LeBlanc, T-Paul’s family owned a wild-life park, particularly an alligator farm very near the Atchafalaya Basin in South Louisiana. It’s a surprise to some people to find out that the largest swamp in the United States is not the Everglades in Florida but the Atchafalaya. My granddad always told me that many people had ventured into that overgrown, wet wilderness – never to be seen again. I believed him.
Dating T-Paul was not like dating anyone else. I’ve been taken on movie dates, fine dining experiences, beach parties, quaint b&b getaways – you name it – but a night out on the town with T-Paul was something else entirely. Occasionally, if he was feeling civilized we would go to Mulate’s and eat crawfish and listen to some fiddle music but that was reserved for special dates – usually when T-Paul had been bitten by an alligator or a snake and wasn’t feeling as sporting as normal.
I could write a book about this – and I might do it – but there were swimming dates off party barges, fast-moving zipping picnics through the swamp on an air-boat, a sweet ride into the countryside while we rescued a rogue alligator under a neighbor’s dog trot home – even excursions to the beach to go crabbing. If he was really feeling romantic, he’d take me out to check his hog traps, that was a rare and sweet experience. Ha! You laugh – but there’s just something about a strong man conquering nature. Plus, T-Paul had a playful streak. He liked to tease me. Once he was standing with some other guys looking down into a high-sided trailer. I asked him what they were doing and he said, “Come here, Cher, come see the little piggy.” Of course, Elly Mae Clampett Hunter that I am, I ventured over to oooo and ahhh over the curly-tailed cutie. But when I stood on the fender to gaze over, a five hundred pound boar hog lunged up at me – causing me to fall on my tail and come up fuming. T-Paul would laugh and laugh.
He would also take me mud-hoggin’, which I loved. There was nothing like seeing a bunch of redneck swamp cowboys plowing their 4-wheel drives through pits of thick mud to see whose engines were more powerful and who had the equipment with more ‘thrusting’ power. If you think all of this equates to phallic symbols and Freudian analogies – you would be correct. A time or two he let me drive, spinning through the mud and water, spraying spatters of goo and ooze with the best of them. Yea, I’m a little wild myself.
Sometimes his sense of humor was charming and sometimes it made me so mad that he slept on the couch for several nights. One incident in particular that resulted in me not speaking to him for a spell comes to mind… T-Paul lived in a little cottage in the middle of several hundred acres of wooded swampland. The closest thing he had to a neighbor, wasn’t a neighbor at all – it was a hunting lodge where men would come to bunk down between runs into the Basin for gator or hogs or deer. So there were many nights when there was absolutely no one around for miles, but me and him. And usually that was a good thing.
T-Paul’s house was a typical bachelor pad without a lot of the comforts a woman might add – but he did possess all of the requisite furniture and appliances and I was happy, mainly because T-Paul was as rowdy and enthusiastic in bed as he was out of it. There was one habit he had that unnerved me, and that was bringing animals into the house. Now, I’m not adverse to animals in the house – after all, I used to have a big ole bull that would come waltzing through the French doors if you left them open. Not to mention the myriad dogs, cats, rabbits and birds that I’ve owned. But T-Paul’s taste in pets ran a little more to the exotic – he had coyotes and squirrels and raccoons and fox and armadillos! There’s nothing like going to the bathroom in the middle of the night and having a possum come scurrying out from behind the toilet. The result is that you don’t make it to the potty before you go! But late one night, the straw broke the camel’s back…
I couldn’t sleep. It had been his birthday and we’d had a few friends over for a cookout and I had even sprung for a bakery cake. Not that I couldn’t cook one that tasted better, but one of his friends – T-Joe had insisted I buy T-Paul a sex cake complete with a pair of mounded up icing covered boobs on top. I had to slap them with a dishrag to keep them from diving headfirst into the cake like a pair of two year olds. The whole thing just teed me off, so I didn’t eat very much. So, about two or three o’clock, my tummy got to rumbling and I decided to pad down to the kitchen and eat some cake and have a glass of milk. Since I wasn’t feeling very generous, I let T-Paul sleep. I had worn him out anyway, if you know what I mean…
I have a bad habit of just piddling around the house in the middle of the night in the black dark. I’m not afraid of things that go bump in the night, because I know there are things that go bump in the night – I’ve seen them. The knowledge of what’s there kinda freed me of fear – before I’d ever seen a ghost, I used to jump at every little noise. But now, I just tell them to back-off, I’m coming through. I figure they’ve got just as much right to be in this world as I do. But what I needed to remember – is that there are a lot of things in this world more dangerous than a spook!
Remembering where I put the box with the remains of the cake in it, I stood on tiptoe to pull it off the top of the refrigerator. To my consternation, it wasn’t as close to the edge as I remembered putting it. And I’m short. In fact, as I patted around on the container, it didn’t feel the same. What the crap? Well, I was hungry, so I persisted.
Then I heard a thump. And another thump. Rats! Literally! I had no doubt that some pesky little rodent was trying to make time with my cake and I wasn’t having it! So, I jumped a bit, grabbed the box and pulled it off. You know….some things as they’re happening seem to be in slow motion. As you’re in the very midst of an act, you come to the startling revelation that you’ve made a very bad mistake. When I got my hands on the box and began pulling it – as I was jumping – it occurred to me that this box might not have cake in it after all. It crossed my mind that someone had moved my dessert and deposited something else on top of the refrigerator. The box came, I hit the floor, the box was heavier than I thought – it began to tumble – T-Paul came barreling into the kitchen, flipping on the light and yelling – “Don’t move that box! There’s a rattlesnake in it!”
Chaos. Horror. Wet my pants! A flopping six foot reptile falling from the sky on top of my head! Flailing arms and scrambling feet! Yells! Screams! Vows to kill a crazy fool who would put a freakin’ snake on top of the refrigerator where my midnight snack was supposed to be!
Well, the snake didn’t bite me. But it was a wonder. He slithered off under the couch and I didn’t waste no time. My mama didn’t raise no fool. I grabbed my purse, told T-Paul what a low-down-swamp-rat-air-headed-beady-eyed-rascal he was – and left him alone with his cold-blooded little buddy! I went home! In my crop T-shirt and boy-cut panties!
And I’m not gonna say I didn’t date T-Paul anymore – I did. But the next time, we slept at my place. Ha!
Comment and I’ll pick a random winner for some goodies.

About sablehunter

Sable Hunter writes erotic romance. She writes what she likes to read and enjoys putting her fantasies on paper. Her stories are emotional reads where the heroine is faced with challenges, like one of her favorite songs – she’s holding out for a hero – and boy, can she deliver a hero. Her aim is to write a story that will make you laugh, cry and sweat. If she can wring those emotions out of a reader, then she has done her job. She grew up in south Louisiana along the mysterious bayous where the Spanish moss hangs thickly over the dark waters. The culture of Louisiana has shaped her outlook on life and made its way into her novels where the supernatural is entirely normal. Presently, Sable lives in Texas and spends most of her time in wild and wonderful Austin. She is passionate about animals and has been known to charm creatures from a one ton bull to a family of racoons. For fun, Sable has been known to haunt cemeteries and battlefields armed with night-vision cameras and digital recorders hunting proof that love survives beyond the grave.She writes for Secret Cravings Publishing as well as publishes much of her own work. Join her in her world of magic, alpha heroes, sexy cowboys and hot, steamy, to-die-for sex. Step into the shoes of her heroines and escape to places where dreams can come true and orgasms only come in multiples.
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44 Responses to WILD THING

  1. That was funny! I always wondered what the T stood for and now I know!

  2. That’s funny…i would have passed out from shock

  3. Barbi says:

    Omg I love you Sable…I live down here in swamp land. And I can vividly picture all of this…I would have had a stroke if a huge snake landed on me…Eeewwe!! Your my kind of lady my friend…great story. I loved it…

  4. Natalija says:

    What a way to start my morning! That was one fun post to read 🙂 Thanks for sharing!

  5. Clare O'Beara says:

    I’m guessing T comes from petit. Very funny story! You know the most interesting people!

  6. Shirley Long says:

    OMG Sable, you are hysterical. I literally have tears running from laughing so hard. Thing is, I can literally see you running out of his house in your Tshirt and panties. Nothing like those good old southern boys to keep a girl on her toes. And where is the infamous T-Paul today? Is he still around? Or did you eventually bury him in the swamp??

  7. laineslite says:

    Anyone that keeps a rattler as a pet among all the rest of that wild and crazy menagerie is off his rocker. A rattlesnake can maim or kill. So much for T-Paul being named for Small or little, tiny or even Terrorizing. T-Rex was aptly named, bet T-Paul was in alphabetical order just before it. At least you stayed at your place from then.

  8. Tanya says:

    I just love your stories Sable!! Makes my life seem so boring………So thanks for letting me live through you………LOL

  9. Eileen says:

    City girl here… And I thought I had interesting old boyfriends! Damn, I love your sense of humor.

  10. marline sexton says:

    Too funny .. I needed that this morning

  11. Shirley Bastian says:

    Thank you for the very entertaining start my Friday morning!!

  12. cct082073 says:

    I just spewed coffee laughing at this. You really need to write a book about your dating experiences.

  13. Lauren LeFebvre says:

    Thanks for the ‘Friday Wake Up’!

  14. Katie Browne says:

    Wow! That was so funny, I could almost see it; also who keeps snakes in a box?

  15. Judy Harder says:

    Sable you are amazing! I can’t imagine having a possum come out in the bathroom or having a rattler fall on my–Yikes! Love your stories!! xoxo

  16. LorettaLynn says:

    Great post 🙂

  17. Billie Sue Morrison says:

    I enjoy everything you write. Totally amazed at your minds proccess and how you present it for my enjoyment.

  18. cmucha319 says:

    I almost peed my pants reading this! You do have a gift for words and I think it would make a great beginning to a new book. Do it!!!! I am a bit overfond of wildlife myself…..I would never extend that to a snake or spider, but I can deal with the rest. Then again, all we get are deer, chipmunks, squirrel, groundhogs and the occasional skunk, coon and possum. Some of them tend to take up residence under our shed. Enjoyed your short story.

    cmucha319 AT yahoo DOT com

  19. gerri peel says:

    OMG Sable !!! I love it when you tell us stories of your life!!! You are the best when sharing stories of your life!!! Love it!! I hate snakes, too!!!

  20. p60revbear says:

    Oh my !!!!! You are one hilarious person.. I would love to see T Paul in one of your books. And I knew when you was pulling that off the ref it was going to be a snake Dang girl I would of pee everywhere and had a heart attack at the same time What a awesome life you have lead Thanks for sharing

  21. Jodi Knecht says:

    OMG I love your stories & your writing! T-Paul didn’t know what he was missing when he let you go! LOL

  22. Ginger Ring says:

    I love your stories but I hate snakes. If one would have fallen on me, I’d have been out the door on a dead run and I’d probably be one of those people that was never seen from again. lol Great story!!

  23. Lol loved it!!! Gotta watch who ya spend the night with!!!

  24. Annie B says:

    Ok yes that would definitely put the fear of God in ya! And the bad kind of wet in your panties. I guess no boobie cake for ya either. But you lived to tell about it!

  25. Theresa Thompaon says:

    I’m starting to think your life is way more interesting than fiction……..no wonder you are so amazing….

  26. Cinzia says:

    you made me giggle as always!

  27. Danielle Elliott says:

    I love this 🙂 It makes me feel like I missed out on a lot by not growing up in the south haha. I can see where you got some of your inspiration for Beau. Thanks for sharing!

  28. tiss81 says:

    WOW, I really love your stories Sable. Sounds like you had some good times. And HOT Sex, with SEXY men. Always love when you share your experiences.

  29. wyndwhisper says:

    if it had been me i would have been a toss up of how i shot first T-Pau or the Rattler! LOL!
    i know how you feel though we have lots of rattlers in Wyoming and it can be a life altering experience to run into one! LOL!
    in fact they have rattlesnake hunting parties where they get a bunch of guys together and go out hunting their nests. they find a nest and clean house on it and then they sell the rattles and the skins.

    tammy ramey
    trvlagnt1t@yahoo.com

  30. Since I live off the atchafalaya and hunt in the basin -I know some guys like that and not all are family!

  31. JanaB says:

    Enjoyed the post. Thanks for the giveaway!

  32. Cindi says:

    I hate snakes. Even going into a pet store that has them freaks me OUT. I would have had nightmares for weeks if that had happened to see Sable. But that is a great story.

  33. June M. says:

    I would have AT LEAST wet myself. And seriously hurt him!!!! You don’t put a deadly animal in a house without warning people.

  34. Cindy Hamilton says:

    I would have flown out of the house if I knew a snake was in it!!! Thanks for sharing!

  35. ajgreer1979 says:

    Thank goodness no one was bitten or got hurt. Would like to know why on top of fridge? Thank you

  36. Vanessa N. says:

    Wow. Definitely a wild experience. Great idea to go get together at your place after the snake incident.

    mythic021@gmail.com

  37. maria cantu says:

    funny and goose-bumpy, thanks for the story

  38. OMG …..I can’t say that it’s not funny because it is. My mom would tell you I would be more likely to put a snake on top of fridge than any guy I dated and for sure of the man I married. Growing up in Florida I was the one Mom had to worry over bringing in a snake. Poor T-Paul he should of realized it wasn’t the best decision he ever made!!!! Thank you for sharing and I do hope you have kept in touch with him, sounds like he would have made a nice friend!!!! Oh yes and for those who don’t know the Atchafalaya is beautiful in it’s own unique way!!!!!

  39. Tracie says:

    As much as I fear snakes, there is nothing funny about that! T-Paul would have definitely been peeling himself off of the floor if it had been me. Sure glad you lived to tell about it.

  40. OMG. I think I’d have to kill him. Snakes in general don’t freak me out, but poisonous ones? Heck yeah! Of course I’d probably react much more poorly to a frog, That’s my kryptonite.

  41. jaimitchell says:

    I laughed so hard. Love reading your posts.

  42. Kathy Lewis says:

    As always Sable, you tell the greatest stories and I know it will one day end up in your books. Thanks for the visuals.

  43. Treasa Ryder says:

    As always, love your stories. Yes you could write a book about this and turn it into a trilogy or even more. I wish that in the future there would be movies about some of the books you write. Man I can only imagine the on-screen scenes.. Hot and sweaty!! Drooling on myself just thinking about it. Thank you for sharing your stories. I enjoy them all. Although I am like you I would have hi-tailed it out of there and never went back. I can not imagine having that happen to me. I am terrified by snakes. LOL

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