Can’t get a naked cowboy unless you speak Texan

I’m back again with the next lesson in how to speak Texan, cuz that’s where most of my heroes hail from. Who doesn’t love a naked cowboy, right?
Lone Star
And all of mine get naked pretty quick in my books.
I’m including some of my covers so you can see how hot naked cowboys are!
But before you make a mad dash for their yummy bodies, better learn how to speak their language. So here’s Speak Texan #3.

You might be a Texan if…
You’ve ever been excused from school because “the cows got out.”
You use the phrase “fixin’ to” almost daily.
You can properly pronounce the names of the towns Mexia, Lamesa, Boerne and Mesquite
***Note: I live near Boerne and NO ONE pronounces it right!
You have owned at least one belt buckle bigger than your fist
Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date
Someone said you’re happy as a gopher in soft dirt

You don’t wants a Texan to say …
You’re all hat and no cattle (a person who is all talk and no substance).
You’re ugly as homemade soap.
You’re ugly as a mud fence
You’re dumber than dirt
You’re older than two trees

You do want a Texan to say…
You’re quick as a hiccup.
You’re cute as a possum (unless a male is addressing a name!)
You’re as handy as hip pockets on a hog
You’re wolverine mean (Tis is especially important to me since I graduated from the University of Michigan and I am a wolverine until I die)Rodeo Heat
You’ll do to run the river with

You can find et:
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About desiree01holt

I'm an author of erotic romance, a lot of them with very hot cowboys.
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15 Responses to Can’t get a naked cowboy unless you speak Texan

  1. Tiss says:

    Thanks for the lesson, but not all of those are strickly Texas sayings……Just sayin.

  2. Melissa Keir says:

    I’m going to have to learn these before the Wild Weekend, esp. if I want to impress some local hunks!

  3. Yup, Melissa, you’re right! I’m looking for hunks right now!

  4. JeanMP says:

    Even though not from Texas, have used some of those sayings myself *L*

  5. Clare O'Beara says:

    You could also be from some parts of Ireland if you’ve been excused from school because the cows got out….

  6. Ladies, you are both right. But you know us Texans. We claim everything! LOL!

  7. Teresa Hughes says:

    Fun post! You made me remeber that my daughter better check wants sporting events are happening when she is planning to get married. She wants to marry Memorial Day weekend. So she said the only event is the Coca Cola 600 in Concord, NC. So she says they can stay the night in Charlotte go to the race and then leave for their honeymoon. She’s not a Texan but, she thinks like one! Lol!

  8. Thanks, Teresa. Oh, and tell her there’s also a little thing called the Indy 500 that weekend! LOL!

  9. Mary Preston says:

    Live and learn!! This was fun thank you.

  10. You are so welcome.

  11. wyndwhisper says:

    love some of those. in fact a lot of them are the same in Wyoming and Montana where I grew up. we also had: over in the holler, where my cousins lived. stupid as trying to kiss a rattler and thinking you won when he gets you. and my mom’s favorite is: my aint you about the cluckiest hen in the coop.(reserved for lazy, gossipy grandkids, LOL!)

    tammy ramey

  12. alabamagirl711 says:

    Dang they are very hot and sexy! There just ain’t nothing like a fine alpha cowboy!!! 😉

  13. JOYE says:

    I am from Colorado and we say some of the same things. My Grandparents said “Yuns” for you all come for a visit. And all my friends knew that some of our class mates were dumb as a post.

  14. ELF says:

    I love these explanations…although between the colloquialisms and the accent…I might miss the saying entirely anyway, lol.

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