How to speak Texan

Do you speak Texan?

If you want to grab a hot cowboy in Texas then you have to speak Texan.

Here’s Lesson Number One, along with some of my hot cowboys.

A traveling couple were once passing through the small town of Mexica south of Dallas and arguing over its pronunciation. “MEX-ee-ah,” said the man. “Ma-HAY-uh,” said the woman. “All right, said the man. “We’ll settle this.” Hde turned into a fast food joint. Walking in the door he called to a waitress, “How do you pronounce this place?” She called back slowly so he could properly understand, “D-A-I-R-Y Q-U-E-E-N.”

Speaking of which, if you want to conduct business in Texas you must do it at a DQ.

Are these drawl or twang?
EYESbawks: cold storage place where things are kept so they don’t get spoiled.
GEYut: To fetch something. Often used as a command to dogs, as in “Gone, boy-e, go geyut it.”

SPAY-uhl: Passage of time (“Come sit a SPAY-uhl and take a load off.”)

WhurYAT: A query as to someone’s location

YAWNTo: A query: YawTo go to the MAWul?

One problem with speaking Texan is you can’t speak it anywhere else in the world unless you’re talking to another Texan.

You might be a Texan if:
You’ve ever been excused from school because the cows got out
You have owned at least one belt buckle bigger than your fist
You use the phrase “fixin’ to” on a daily basis

Aigs: food produced by poultry

B.L.-A man’s first name as in former president B. L. Clinton

DAINce: to move rhythmically to music

Jeet: To consume food, as in “Heighty, jeetyet?”

Rules for non-Texans (follow them and you wonlt offend a Texan, and with practice might just pass as a Texan):
Pull up your droopy pants
Texans drive pickups because they need to. It’s called a “gravel road”. No matter how slow you drive you’re going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
Texans may smell like pigs, cattle and oil wells to you. They smell like money to Texans.

Stay tuned for Lesson Two. If you pass the test we may just open our borders to you.

FB: desireeholtauthor
Twitter: @desireeholt

About desiree01holt

I'm an author of erotic romance, a lot of them with very hot cowboys.
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19 Responses to How to speak Texan

  1. slinkydennis says:

    I love it Desiree! I’m an Okie so I know all about the Twang. :)

  2. marie says:

    One thing is for sure we can go anywhere in the world and people know we are from TEXAS!….and it is a place nobody really wants to leave and everyone wants to hurry and get back too!….TEXAS we are a whole other country! PROUD TEXAN!!

  3. Porchia Gilbreath says:

    I have lived in Texas all my life and you have it pegged. The old man next door growing up used all those wonderful words with a twang and even I had trouble understanding him. LOL Texas is one of the few places everyone from other countrys knows. :)

  4. Joanne B says:

    I have tears rolling down my face from laughing so hard. That was a great way to start the day. Thanks.

  5. Margie Hager says:

    To think my husband was offered a position in Baytown and we passed it up makes me think we were not real bright. I loved San Antonio when we visited there earlier this year! Loved this!

  6. I want to holler, NO, it’s not like that at all! But…being a Texan gal myself…I recognized every single word. And I LOVE the Dairy Queen part!!!! True, true, true. LOL…

  7. LURVE this…and being from the south myself, I had a hard time with pronouncing some of these, lol

  8. suzyrph says:

    That was great. I am from New York living in Tenneessee—- a tobaggen is not a sled but a winter cap. Pop is not soda- they don’t know what it is. Most first names are either Bubba or Sissy–culture shock!

  9. You guys are hysterical! I love you all.

  10. Toni says:

    I’m way behind the ball. I have a lot to learn. Thanks for the mini lesson. I think I’ll need it.

  11. Eileen says:

    Love it!! and your books. :)

  12. Nancy S says:

    The words and phrases are quite similar to if not identical to those in a book on Okie Speak. I guess there is a good reason some call Texas Baja Oklahoma.

  13. Beverly Donnell says:

    Everybody thinks people from Arkansas talk with a twang. I’ve never heard anybody around here say jeetyet. I love it !!

  14. Ronda Tutt says:

    LOL, I love this post. I am a pure breed Texan, born and raised in Houston TX and after reading this I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. I now live south of Austin TX and the language is more TEXMEX now or just spanish which I hate. Anyhoo, I still have my hick accent regardless of the culture change. I’m Loud and Proud – a gun lover, horse lover, and cowboy lover – LOL And yes, I not only have cowboy boots but have combat boots too – LOL Also, I live in the country on 11 acrers and have lots of animals – LOL By the way, I pronounce the town Mexica like I was going to say “Mexican”

  15. Tiss says:

    Thanks for the explaination, if I ever get down that way, I’ll have to check it out. LOL
    Books look awesome! Can’t wait to read.

  16. Haha, thats hilarious! Can’t wait to heaar what else you come up with.

  17. Shannon Owens says:

    I don’t know if I should be offended or not?? I am an East Texas girl and have lived in San Antonio and now Houston area. The dialect in each region of Texas is definitely different that is for sure. I know some in East Texas is a lot stronger than others don’t know why. I do say fixin and y’all but some of the other stuff I had no idea what you were saying. As for DQ well they use to make the best vanilla cokes but now they just look at you so what’s the point?

  18. Clare O'Beara says:

    Love the pronunciation guide!

  19. Love the blog post on the Texas Lango ;) love the book covers as well!

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