Got your attention yet? It got mine. I was trolling the Internet looking for a fun topic for today and came across a blog called Nerve. Grant Stoddard had interviewed several cowboys about various aspects of cowboys and sex. He did it so much better than I could, so with proper attribution to the very funny Mr. Stoddard, I cherry-picked (excuse the expression) from his interviews to share some of the comments with you.
What’s the best place to engage in outdoor sex?
1. Just about anywhere. I’ve done it in the creek, I’ve done it on horse blankets. I’ve done it in the long grass, got thorns in my ass. Hell, once I smoothed out pine needles and threw her down right there. Boy, I tell ya, I’ve done it all outside. On a horse one time, too. I just had her sit on my lap and got the horse in a trot. Shit, man, it worked real good.
2. The beach, the woods, maybe in a treehouse.
3. Anywheres no one can see you.
What’s a good way to initiate a threesome?
1. Sweet-talk ‘em.
2. You’ll have to ask Larry about that one. Shit. Where you from anyhow?
3. Buy ‘em some drugs.
4. Just tell ‘em, “Hey, I can take care of both of you. Oh, you don’t believe me? Just try me.” That just about ought to do it. But of course, then you got to prove it.
5. The most important thing to remember here is that you got to take care not to make the other one jealous. Believe me, that’ll happen. Oftentimes it’s a recipe for disaster. Still a lot of goddamn fun though, I can tell you that for shit sure.
What’s a no-fail seduction line?
I dunno. Probably “Let me show you my fingers.” [Holds up two remaining fingers on his left hand.]
What sex tips can city guys learn from the men of the West?
Mostly manners. Some real fuckin’, probably. I can’t say for sure.
Hope you found this as much fun as I did. And be sure to check out my cowboy books, all available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble and everyplace else online where books are sold.
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