How to Identify a Texan

We recently received a newsletter in the mail from our insurance company. After all the serious stuff about natural disasters and weatherproofing your windows and cleaning the lint out of your dryer, it ended with a fun little list of how to Identify a Texan.  (That’s an important skill, I’m sure, when it comes to identifying Authentic Texas Cowboys.)

Mr. Lyons and I thought it was a fun list worth sharing.

(right to use photo purchased by Larissa from Bigstockphoto.com)

You know you’re a Texan if:

1) You can properly pronounce: Pecos, Terlingua, Lajitas, Corsicana, Decatur, Boerne, Nacogdoches, Mexia, Balmorhea, Iraan, and Bexar  (& just for grins, let me share that spellcheck strongly disagrees with all but two of these!).

2) You know that the value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but by the availability of shade. (Amen! I’ll take the chance of bird poop over a scalding hot interior any day.)

3) You aren’t surprised to find movie rentals, ammunition and bait all in the same store.

4) Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date.

5) Forget miles, you measure distance in minutes–or hours.

6) You’ve seen more than one rodeo cowboy wearing a belt buckle bigger than your hand.

7) You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer and Christmas.

8) Finally, you are 100% Texan if you have ever heard this conversation:
“You wanna coke?”
“Yeah.”
“What kind?”
“Dr Pepper.”

:-) On the writing front, Tied Between Two Lovers has just come out in print! If you enjoy emotional, sex-riddled menage stories, check it out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Larissa Lyons loves all things historical and feline. She also has a soft spot for hard cowboys. Currently “hard” at work on finishing her current sexy Regency romance, she’s eager to turn her pen back to cowboys soon. Learn more by visiting LarissaLyons.com.

About Larissa Lyons

A lover of all things historical and feline, author Larissa Lyons also has a soft spot for hard cowboys. Visit LarissaLyons.com to learn more.
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20 Responses to How to Identify a Texan

  1. tazfl001 says:

    LOL – love it. I’m a proud Texan who does not go without her Dr Pepper. #8 never failed to cause a blank stare on visiting relatives. :)

    • Larissa Lyons says:

      Ha! I remember my first trip up north (my husband’s–gasp!–Yankee born) everyone called it “pop.” Took me forever to figure out what they meant…

  2. Terri says:

    Cute and I could tell I’m NOT from Texas as I couldn’t figure out how to say some of those towns. Okay, and a few other things on that list. However, I wouldn’t mind visiting again!

    • Larissa Lyons says:

      If it’s any consolation, Mr. Lyons has lived here over 30 years and he still had trouble with a couple of the towns. I knew them back from my good ole FFA days in high school.

  3. maw25 says:

    That list is perfect. I have lived in Texas for over 40 years and I’ll take bird poop over the sun any day.

    Marika

  4. This is wonderfully funny!

  5. Jenn3128 says:

    I’m not from Texas, but have visited twice, talk about a culture shock! Also saw my first tornado in Texas, that was exciting!

    • Larissa Lyons says:

      Oh my gosh — talk about scary! Where we live now, it’s wildfire threats, not tornadoes, but I grew up on the coast and sure remember them after hurricanes.

  6. Randi Alexander says:

    I loved the list. And how funny that it came with your insurance newsletter! A great marketing tool that authors can learn from.

    • Larissa Lyons says:

      What’s crazy is that we’ve had this list a while. I found it “saved” in a pile of papers last week and thought it would be perfect for the blog. :-)

  7. tiss81 says:

    I’m not from Texes and I’d have trouble with it all. LOL. Yes, we call it “pop” or “soda” up here.
    That was nice, thanks.

  8. Rainbow Brite says:

    lol! #4 encompasses most of the male population. my friend’s fiance took out a football AND basketball schedule and pointed out to her exactly which weeks to not schedule anything wedding related.

    i miss dublin dr pepper. i had one a few years ago when driving through texas to visit some family members. my uncle used to send it to me. why do all the good things get taken away?!

  9. Larissa Lyons says:

    Consulting with both the football and basketball schedules cracked me up — thanks for sharing that! Hmmm, I’m not sure I’m familiar with “Dublin” Dr Pepper, but I know both Dr Pepper and Big Red (my personal favorite) sure do remind me of Texas.

  10. Nancy S says:

    Ya know some of those things are true north of the border as well. Although I order a coke and invariably they ask “Is Pepsi OK?”. Bexar (Bare), Boerne (Berny), Mexia (Mehya); not so sure of a couple of the others. I admit to being somewhat of a ringer as I did live in Texas for a few years. The one thing most true here as well is only an idiot would buy a black vehicle with black leather upholstery. You would be asking for blistered thighs and butt and not in a fun way.

    • Larissa Lyons says:

      Hi Nancy – I smiled at your black-vehicle comment. Our truck is black; when folks ask what color it is, I say “dust”. :)

      • Nancy S says:

        Oopsie, didn’t mean to insult your intelligence with the car color comment, sorry. My Daddy had a black pickup, a 1959 Chevy with cloth seats(thank goodness) and this was before a/c was common in vehicles. That was one hot ride. The kids rode loose in the bed, at least we had a breeze. Of course that was before “safety” became the huge deal it is today. Sorry for rambling, I’ll go now.

        • Larissa Lyons says:

          Oh, Nancy, I didn’t take your comment that way at all. In fact, my “dream” car has long been a 1950s Chevy pickup, so as I reply to you, trust me, I’m also wiping drool up off the keyboard. :-)

          What’s weird, back when I was in high school (we won’t talk about how long ago that was) I remember one of my Ag teachers saying the only two colors of car he would ever own were white or black. I personally always thought that was highly strange given how much the black vehicles attracted dust. Anyway — I truly appreciate your comments! Hope to see you again next month. >^..^< Larissa

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